When my sister was little, she had an imaginary friend called Jackie. One Sunday, my great aunt was over and my sister came in, announced to the room that Jackie fell down the stair and died, and left. My great auntie calmly looked up and said “how did she know about that?” Apparently, my great auntie had a little brother called Jack (her mother, who died a little before my sister was born, called him Jackie) and when he was 7, he fell down the stairs, banged his head and died.
I’d love to punch you right now but the prime directive clearly states that primitive species should not be interfered with until they reach a certain level of maturity in their evolutionary tree.
Did you just burn someone in Vulcan?
No, they burned them with Federation Law.
SOMEONE PUT THESE BY THE STAIRS AT MY SCHOOL
Michigan lawmakers passed a controversial measure on Wednesday that will ban all insurance plans in the state from covering abortion unless the woman’s life is in danger. The law, which takes effect in March, will force women and employers to purchase a separate abortion rider if they would like the procedure covered, even in cases of rape and incest.
Okay I usually don’t really like my state’s politics very much but this is just too much. This is just like the fevered dream of a fucking madman. This is not fucking okay. At all.
How to use “and” 5 times in a row grammatically:
A man owned a store called “This And That” and hired another man to make a sign for it. When it was finished the owner inspected the work. He discovered that the spaces were wrong so he said “the space between This and And and And and That is different. Please fix it”
IM SO ANGRY
every time i take a picture with my family i always throw up gang signs to let everyone know who runs this family
i used to be passive aggressive, but now i’m aggressively passive. don’t mess with me kiddo. i’ll be right here. i’ll fucking forgive you
“A three second exposure meant that subjects had to stand very still to avoid being blurred, and holding a smile for that period was tricky. As a result, we have a tendency to see our Victorian ancestors as even more formal and stern than they might have been.”